About Me

My Photo
I’m just a 19 year old girl meandering through existence, trying to achieve my dreams… Though I’m still a little fuzzy on what my dreams actually are. I want to learn and do many things, but I need to work on my motivation and determination, as they’re severely lacking. This blog is to help me keep track of what I need to do, my dreams, inadequacies, triumphs and to release my overall negativity.

Friday, October 1, 2010

1 liter of tears diary 《一公升的眼泪》

So I found a Chinese version of 1 Liter of Tears (1リットルの涙) on baidu.com, still cant find the Japanese version :( I'm going to ask my mum to buy it for me for my birthday, I think. Until then, this version will be good for me to practice my Chinese. I'll post each section of aya-chans diary I study here, for reference.

亚也日记
14岁——我的家人

玛丽死了
今天是我的生日。
我想我真的长大了。
感谢爸爸妈妈——
我会努力再努力,要得到好成绩,让身体更结实,不再胡思乱想……我的青春才正要开始,更要去用心珍惜,不留悔恨才对!
后天就要去露营了,如果不好好用功,也没办法玩得安心吧?
亚也——加油、加油!
……

进而,我怎么也想不到,就在我生日这一天,却发生了一场悲剧——
玛丽被邻居家养的大狗“老虎”咬破头,死了。
玛丽虽然身体小小的,但却很想亲近高大的“老虎”,便摇着短短的尾巴迅速向它奔了过去。
虽然我拼命地喊着:“玛丽,不要!快回来——”
但最后还是……
玛丽还没来得及说任何话就死了,想必它的心里也很不甘心吧?
才刚出来不久,怎么想得到自己会这么早就死了?!
玛丽……希望你在另一个世界能过得快乐!


新家盖好了!
2楼东侧的大房间,是我和妹妹的城堡。洁白的天花板、茶色的墙壁,隔着窗户可以观望到外头的景色,和平常的感觉都不同了。有了属于自己的房间虽然很开心,但是空间太大反而感觉有点寂寞。今晚,搞不好会失眠吧?呵。
带着崭新的心情出发喽!
一、 今天的打扮:T恤和裤子(便于活动);
二、 每天的家务:到庭院浇水、除草;看看家里唯一一棵番茄叶子上有没有长虫。啊!也要注意菊花叶子里有没有油虫,有的话就要马上清除;
三、 功课不可以偷懒;
四、 除此之外,还要把每天做过的事情,都原原本本写在日记里。
以上的事,每天都要做到哦,亚也!

我的家人
我每天和家人生活在一起,很热闹。

我的爸爸:
41岁。是个富有激情的人,他常为了点小事就激动起来,但个性很温柔。

我的妈妈:
40岁。我很尊敬她,她可是拥有一眼就能看穿我心事的可怕本领哦,

我:
14岁。刚开始进入青春期,这是大人眼中最容易出问题的年龄。用一句话来说的话——我是个爱哭鬼。是个感情特别丰富、很单纯,说气就气,说笑就笑的人。

我的大妹:
12岁。这个妹妹无论在念书或是个性上都很不服输。不过,最近好像收敛了不少。

我的大弟:
11岁。他是有着恐怖洁癖的小鬼。为了这小子,有时候我只得扮演他大哥的角色。他像是亲生父母一样疼爱着小黑(我家的小狗)。

我的小弟:
10岁。想象力异常丰富,只是做事有点随便。

我的小妹:
两岁。她有妈妈的卷发和父亲的容貌——特别是眼睛,角度就像8点20分——非常可爱。


这就是我的家庭,我十分可爱的家人们。
14岁了,未来是什么样子的,我很期待!
我的青春才刚刚开始!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Moribito and Rambling

I SO recommend this book series. There's like 10 books, I think. Moribito: Guardian of the Spirit. They're so good!




Anyhoo...

Why can't I just do what I'm supposed to? I don't know why it's so hard. Hard to go to school, hard to exercise, eat, study, go out. I just want to sit and stare at a wall. Maybe I'm still depressed, I don't know. I feel pathetic. All I hear everyday is nagging nagging that I need to change my outlook, stop negative, do this, do that. Yeah, ok but just listing many things I must do isn't going to make me do any of them. I just get overwhelmed. I'm one of those people either go all in to the extreme or do absolutely nothing, I can't find the middle ground.

My nutritionist said I need to take small steps. But, what to do first? Should I make a list?

Ok list.

1) Go to school everyday. It's 3 hours, it's not going to kill me and I can graduate quick.

Why is this so difficult? Maybe some part of me is scared to graduate, I don't know. Some screwed up notion that if I don't graduate things will remain the same and time won't go forward? Hahaha, stupid huh. Things are going to change even if I don't graduate, so I should just finish quick and graduate so I can at least have a good change. I need to stop being scared of change.

2) EXERCISE! This is my biggest problem. I usually end up startingextreme -like when I first started out I did two hours on the treadmill and could hardly walk for a few days after- and burning out quickly. I need to take baby steps. Wii dance/fitness games, 2 or 3 days a week at the gym water aerobics and I want to take up zumba, go to the zoo on the weekends.

3) Eating. I hate eating, always have. I skip meals a lot, and don't eat much. I should start using sparkpeople more. At least try to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

4) Sleep. I have insomnia, and when I try to sleep at night I get panic attacks, but staying up until like 4 or 5+ AM isn't healthy. I should start going to bed early... My nutritionist said I should try like, instead of going to bed at 4 or 5, go to bed at 3, then go to bed at 2, then 1, etc. I really can't go to bed before 11 since I have to help mom get ready for work, etc. But, if I go to bed as soon as she goes to work, then I can wake up at 7 or 8 AM.

5) Study. I suck at studying, completely horrible at it. I haven't truly studied a day in my life (I never had to at school, it's too easy, no point =.=) so I'm really at a loss when trying to learn these languages. I get overwhelmed again trying to do too much at once. Haha information overload X) I'll just focus on one thing at a time. Go through one book at a time, one video at a time. Don't try to do multiple things at once.

6) Save money. Yeaaaaaaaah... No more eating out all the time, no more waste on silly things. We don't need more crap. Eat at home, apply for foodstamps.

7) Cleaning. I need to do house cleaning at least once a week, and keep things organized. I also need to use my facial masks and face wash, these little bitty stress pimples are getting on my nerves! Just thankful they aren't huge ugly ones.

Alright... I think that's it. I can do this. I can be a normal person, who knows how to function properly. If I can't even do this stuff, I'm going to useless out in the real world. But, no. No worrying stressed about that stuff. I need to focus on today, right now. What do I need to do now?

Maybe I should make a daily schedule? hm...

Monday through Thursday:

8:00 - wake up

8:30 - take a shower

9:15 - have breakfast/take medicine

10:30 - exercise.

11:00 - study

12:00 > 17:00 - free time/lunch

17:30 - prepare for school

18:00 > 21:00 - school (1.5 hr chemistry, 1.5 hr spanish)

21:15 > 23:00 - free time/dinner/medicine

23:30 - bed.

I doubt I'll be able to sleep, and mom usually calls around midnight, so I guess I can just stay in bed and read some of my book or something until she calls, and then go to bed. For friday-sunday, I can pretty much do whatever and stay up later, since no school. Sounds doable.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Pucca MP3 Player

OH MY GOSH! I would kill a kitten for one of these. Ok, no I wouldn't, but I love Pucca! It's one of the cutest cartoons from S. Korea.

Sadly, they're only sold in Korea right now, and the ones I've found on ebay are super expensive. *cries*

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Friday, August 6, 2010

Radiotracker = love

I am absolutely in love with this program! I'm addicted to listening to online radio, but thanks to my new laptop having Vista, it no longer has the option to do that record internally thing, so I haven't been able to record any of the stations I listen to. Crappy Vista. Thankfully, there's Radiotracker!! This program is awesome, not to mention easy to use. Just select a genre and click start recording. It's gotten me to listen to a lot of things I wouldn't have normally listened to, like filipino love songs hahahaha. I like that you can add stations to favorite list, makes it much easier to sort through the super long lists of stations. I love that it turns all the songs it records into mp3 format and cuts them into individual song, with the name of the artist and song title. I got over 500 songs yesterday, it's crazy. I'm going to run out of GB soon if I don't stop! haha If you would like to get it yourself, it's very cheap, and totally worth the money!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Fun with Cleverbot.

After being thoroughly disgusted on chatroullete, found a fun app called "Cleverbot." It's hilarious! XD Had a funny convo with the AI, and then got it to admit to being a total pedo.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

A Scroll Down Memory Lane

Wow... I found some ooooooold blogs that I used to write on, from like 2004. I can't believe how much has changed since then, I'd forgotten almost everything from that time. It's really an odd feeling reading things that I wrote from so long ago.

I found some old songs I wrote, old poems, and even a very bad monologue I had to write in french. XD

Le caractère- Anetter.

Vieillir- 13.

Placer- l'Asile Insensé.

Le problème- Est insensé, veut que les gens pour ait cru qu'elle n'est pas.

Regarder- le regard en bataille, fatigué, déprimé et uniforme.

Les valeurs par-dessus tout- Sa conviction qu'elle n'est pas insensé. (Et son Bob d'ami.)

Avant que l'asile- la Mère a trouvé la séance de Anette dans sa pièce se dispute avec le
mur, avec les égratignures descendant l'arme.

La situation- Anette a obtenu a ajouté juste à l'isolement cellulaire à l'Asile insensé après essayer de se sauver. Donne vent et complaing à son ami, Bob. (Qui est un singe invisible de conversation.)



Anetter:

(Les cris aux ouvriers d'asile) je vous déteste ! me part seul ! me permets de va !

part de moi ! Je ne peux pas croire que je suis dans ici, encore !

Ce n'est juste Bob pas, vous savez ?

Parce que je ne vois pas pourquoi que je dois être ici, je ne suis pas insensé ! (Écoute) oh fermer en haut, je ne suis pas insensé..

(Les rhythmes) il doit y avoir une façon pour sortir d'ici, faire les croit we're...(listens)...

Croire que je ne suis pas insensé (écoute, roule des yeux)

Bob, je ne vais pas faire qu'ils veulent, parce que que ces besoin de secousses est pour moi aller à l'orientation, et et juste être un bon petit prisonnier.

(Les arrêts arpentent, les éclats) bien, que je ne ferai pas !

Ceci est l'amérique, je devrais’t doit venir ici juste parce que nous avons un petit combat ! (Écoute, alors les hurlements)

Non ! Je ne vais pas calmer Bob, je devrais’t est ici du, les adultes sont diabolique, ils mettent’t comprend. ..Never fera..

(Les soupirs) Bob, je mets’t sait ce que je’m va faire. ..It’s si dur est ici, nous devons sortir d'ici bientôt, l'I. DE I. ..

I met’t pense que je peux durer beaucoup plus long. Je me sens comme moi vraiment vais insensé parfois..

(Assied sur le lit, les regards en haut soudain aux yeux écarquillés) NON ! (Les gens d'asile entrent) NON ! BOB ! AIDE !

LAISSER ALLER ! Je’M n'ALLANT pas ! NON ! Je’M PAS INSENSE ! Je’M PAS ! ME PERMETTRE DE VA ! ME PERMETTRE DE VA ! ...(is a enfoncé et donné un coup) ..I’m pas insensé. ..I’m pas. ...(Is a exécuté de pièce)

And here is one of the old poems. Please remember this was back in 2004. Hahaha

As the clock chimes.


The clock chimes once.

The clock chimes twice.

Counting down to my demise.



The mourners are mourning,

Their loved ones parting.

As I lay here, slowly dieing.

Listening to the clocks slow chimes.



The clock chimes once.

The clock chimes twice.

As I wait hear.

Worn and weary.

Tired of this endless journey.

Waiting for my final curtain.

To be closed for all of time.


Alas’ the angels blow their horns.

As they slowly open up their doors.

Pulling me higher, higher still.

Watching my body grow distant, faded.

I leave this world.



Alas-

Alas, sweet world, goodbye.


Yeaaaaah...*cough* and here is an interview with a magic 8 ball... O_o

~INTERVIEW WITH A MAGICK 8 BALL~


Me: Hey, do you know my name?


M.B.: I was snoozing. Try again.


Me: Ok....Do you know my name?


M.B.: In life's big picture, it's not that important.


Me: Thats just rude. Do you know how rude you are??


M.B:You're out of it.


Me: I am not out of it. Are you?


M.B: Shuh.


Me: Is that all you can say?


M.B.: Not at this time.


Me: Oh, really?


M.B.: No way.


Me: You're really confusing, you know that?


M.B.: Perhaps.


Me: Okay, time for the interview


M.B.: Possibly.


Me: What do you mean, possibly?!


M.B.: You gotta be kidding.


Me: No, I'm not kidding, are you?


M.B.: You know better than I.


Me: Your a stupid 8 ball


M.B.: You didn't mean that.


Me: Okay, I didn't. But will you please answer my next question?


M.B.: With reasonable assurance, yes.


Me: Thank you.


M.B.: You betcha.


Me:Okay. How old will I be when the world ends?


M.B.: Ix-nay.


Me: what does that mean?


M.B.: Most likely.


Me.: Huh?


M.B.: Nope.


Me: So I wont be alive when the world ends?


M.B.: Well, duh!


Me: Are you always so rude?


M.B.: Not necessarily.


Me: Fine, then could you try being a little nicer?


M.B.: Not at this time.


Me: Bitch


M.B.: You gotta be kidding.


Me: No, your a bitch!


M.B.: Shame on you.


Me: Shame on me?


M.B.: Well, duh!


Me: Hey, all I wanted was an interview with you. Is that too much to ask?


M.B.: Definitely not.


Me: Then why are you being so rude?


M.B.: Even my dog knows that.


Me: Well, I'm not your dog. so why are you being rude?


M.B.: Who can say?


Me: YOU CAN!


M.B.: Have you tried seeking professional help?


Me: Yes, it didn't go so well, why?


M.B.: Surely you jest.


Me: wtf? no I don’t jest, stop talking wierd and answer my damned questions!!


M.B.: Okey dokey.


Me: Fine whatever, now you are going to answer this next question, right?


M.B.: Try flipping a coin.


Me: *flips coin* Okay I did, the coin said you’re going to answer my question.


M.B: With reasonable assurance, yes.


Me: Are people stupid?


M.B.: Absolutely not.


Me: Are people smart?


M.B.: Maybe, maybe not.


Me: okay, are YOU stupid?


M.B.: Do you feel lucky today, punk?


Me: Why yes I do! Do you?


M.B.: Nope.


Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHA, so you dont feel lucky?


M.B.: Not at this time.


Me: Okay, well since you dont feel lucky, I'm gonna come over to your place and break you!


M.B.: Perhaps.


Me: Perhaps? So your saying I can come over and break you??


M.B.: It depends.


Me: It depends on what?


M.B.: Whether pigs can fly


Me: WTF??..Whatever, I’ve gotta get going anyways


M.B. Right on.


Me: Bye.


M.B.: May a Foo Lion growl at you for saying that.


Me: ....o_0... so rude.


M.B.: Absolutely.


Me: Whatever...bye!


M.B.: Try again later.


That's one rude 8 Ball XD




I wonder what other blogs I have hidden out there. (and yes, all spelling is how they were originally on the old blog. I was a seriously bad speller back then. haha)