About Me

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I’m just a 19 year old girl meandering through existence, trying to achieve my dreams… Though I’m still a little fuzzy on what my dreams actually are. I want to learn and do many things, but I need to work on my motivation and determination, as they’re severely lacking. This blog is to help me keep track of what I need to do, my dreams, inadequacies, triumphs and to release my overall negativity.

Friday, October 1, 2010

1 liter of tears diary 《一公升的眼泪》

So I found a Chinese version of 1 Liter of Tears (1リットルの涙) on baidu.com, still cant find the Japanese version :( I'm going to ask my mum to buy it for me for my birthday, I think. Until then, this version will be good for me to practice my Chinese. I'll post each section of aya-chans diary I study here, for reference.

亚也日记
14岁——我的家人

玛丽死了
今天是我的生日。
我想我真的长大了。
感谢爸爸妈妈——
我会努力再努力,要得到好成绩,让身体更结实,不再胡思乱想……我的青春才正要开始,更要去用心珍惜,不留悔恨才对!
后天就要去露营了,如果不好好用功,也没办法玩得安心吧?
亚也——加油、加油!
……

进而,我怎么也想不到,就在我生日这一天,却发生了一场悲剧——
玛丽被邻居家养的大狗“老虎”咬破头,死了。
玛丽虽然身体小小的,但却很想亲近高大的“老虎”,便摇着短短的尾巴迅速向它奔了过去。
虽然我拼命地喊着:“玛丽,不要!快回来——”
但最后还是……
玛丽还没来得及说任何话就死了,想必它的心里也很不甘心吧?
才刚出来不久,怎么想得到自己会这么早就死了?!
玛丽……希望你在另一个世界能过得快乐!


新家盖好了!
2楼东侧的大房间,是我和妹妹的城堡。洁白的天花板、茶色的墙壁,隔着窗户可以观望到外头的景色,和平常的感觉都不同了。有了属于自己的房间虽然很开心,但是空间太大反而感觉有点寂寞。今晚,搞不好会失眠吧?呵。
带着崭新的心情出发喽!
一、 今天的打扮:T恤和裤子(便于活动);
二、 每天的家务:到庭院浇水、除草;看看家里唯一一棵番茄叶子上有没有长虫。啊!也要注意菊花叶子里有没有油虫,有的话就要马上清除;
三、 功课不可以偷懒;
四、 除此之外,还要把每天做过的事情,都原原本本写在日记里。
以上的事,每天都要做到哦,亚也!

我的家人
我每天和家人生活在一起,很热闹。

我的爸爸:
41岁。是个富有激情的人,他常为了点小事就激动起来,但个性很温柔。

我的妈妈:
40岁。我很尊敬她,她可是拥有一眼就能看穿我心事的可怕本领哦,

我:
14岁。刚开始进入青春期,这是大人眼中最容易出问题的年龄。用一句话来说的话——我是个爱哭鬼。是个感情特别丰富、很单纯,说气就气,说笑就笑的人。

我的大妹:
12岁。这个妹妹无论在念书或是个性上都很不服输。不过,最近好像收敛了不少。

我的大弟:
11岁。他是有着恐怖洁癖的小鬼。为了这小子,有时候我只得扮演他大哥的角色。他像是亲生父母一样疼爱着小黑(我家的小狗)。

我的小弟:
10岁。想象力异常丰富,只是做事有点随便。

我的小妹:
两岁。她有妈妈的卷发和父亲的容貌——特别是眼睛,角度就像8点20分——非常可爱。


这就是我的家庭,我十分可爱的家人们。
14岁了,未来是什么样子的,我很期待!
我的青春才刚刚开始!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Moribito and Rambling

I SO recommend this book series. There's like 10 books, I think. Moribito: Guardian of the Spirit. They're so good!




Anyhoo...

Why can't I just do what I'm supposed to? I don't know why it's so hard. Hard to go to school, hard to exercise, eat, study, go out. I just want to sit and stare at a wall. Maybe I'm still depressed, I don't know. I feel pathetic. All I hear everyday is nagging nagging that I need to change my outlook, stop negative, do this, do that. Yeah, ok but just listing many things I must do isn't going to make me do any of them. I just get overwhelmed. I'm one of those people either go all in to the extreme or do absolutely nothing, I can't find the middle ground.

My nutritionist said I need to take small steps. But, what to do first? Should I make a list?

Ok list.

1) Go to school everyday. It's 3 hours, it's not going to kill me and I can graduate quick.

Why is this so difficult? Maybe some part of me is scared to graduate, I don't know. Some screwed up notion that if I don't graduate things will remain the same and time won't go forward? Hahaha, stupid huh. Things are going to change even if I don't graduate, so I should just finish quick and graduate so I can at least have a good change. I need to stop being scared of change.

2) EXERCISE! This is my biggest problem. I usually end up startingextreme -like when I first started out I did two hours on the treadmill and could hardly walk for a few days after- and burning out quickly. I need to take baby steps. Wii dance/fitness games, 2 or 3 days a week at the gym water aerobics and I want to take up zumba, go to the zoo on the weekends.

3) Eating. I hate eating, always have. I skip meals a lot, and don't eat much. I should start using sparkpeople more. At least try to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

4) Sleep. I have insomnia, and when I try to sleep at night I get panic attacks, but staying up until like 4 or 5+ AM isn't healthy. I should start going to bed early... My nutritionist said I should try like, instead of going to bed at 4 or 5, go to bed at 3, then go to bed at 2, then 1, etc. I really can't go to bed before 11 since I have to help mom get ready for work, etc. But, if I go to bed as soon as she goes to work, then I can wake up at 7 or 8 AM.

5) Study. I suck at studying, completely horrible at it. I haven't truly studied a day in my life (I never had to at school, it's too easy, no point =.=) so I'm really at a loss when trying to learn these languages. I get overwhelmed again trying to do too much at once. Haha information overload X) I'll just focus on one thing at a time. Go through one book at a time, one video at a time. Don't try to do multiple things at once.

6) Save money. Yeaaaaaaaah... No more eating out all the time, no more waste on silly things. We don't need more crap. Eat at home, apply for foodstamps.

7) Cleaning. I need to do house cleaning at least once a week, and keep things organized. I also need to use my facial masks and face wash, these little bitty stress pimples are getting on my nerves! Just thankful they aren't huge ugly ones.

Alright... I think that's it. I can do this. I can be a normal person, who knows how to function properly. If I can't even do this stuff, I'm going to useless out in the real world. But, no. No worrying stressed about that stuff. I need to focus on today, right now. What do I need to do now?

Maybe I should make a daily schedule? hm...

Monday through Thursday:

8:00 - wake up

8:30 - take a shower

9:15 - have breakfast/take medicine

10:30 - exercise.

11:00 - study

12:00 > 17:00 - free time/lunch

17:30 - prepare for school

18:00 > 21:00 - school (1.5 hr chemistry, 1.5 hr spanish)

21:15 > 23:00 - free time/dinner/medicine

23:30 - bed.

I doubt I'll be able to sleep, and mom usually calls around midnight, so I guess I can just stay in bed and read some of my book or something until she calls, and then go to bed. For friday-sunday, I can pretty much do whatever and stay up later, since no school. Sounds doable.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Pucca MP3 Player

OH MY GOSH! I would kill a kitten for one of these. Ok, no I wouldn't, but I love Pucca! It's one of the cutest cartoons from S. Korea.

Sadly, they're only sold in Korea right now, and the ones I've found on ebay are super expensive. *cries*

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Friday, August 6, 2010

Radiotracker = love

I am absolutely in love with this program! I'm addicted to listening to online radio, but thanks to my new laptop having Vista, it no longer has the option to do that record internally thing, so I haven't been able to record any of the stations I listen to. Crappy Vista. Thankfully, there's Radiotracker!! This program is awesome, not to mention easy to use. Just select a genre and click start recording. It's gotten me to listen to a lot of things I wouldn't have normally listened to, like filipino love songs hahahaha. I like that you can add stations to favorite list, makes it much easier to sort through the super long lists of stations. I love that it turns all the songs it records into mp3 format and cuts them into individual song, with the name of the artist and song title. I got over 500 songs yesterday, it's crazy. I'm going to run out of GB soon if I don't stop! haha If you would like to get it yourself, it's very cheap, and totally worth the money!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Fun with Cleverbot.

After being thoroughly disgusted on chatroullete, found a fun app called "Cleverbot." It's hilarious! XD Had a funny convo with the AI, and then got it to admit to being a total pedo.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

A Scroll Down Memory Lane

Wow... I found some ooooooold blogs that I used to write on, from like 2004. I can't believe how much has changed since then, I'd forgotten almost everything from that time. It's really an odd feeling reading things that I wrote from so long ago.

I found some old songs I wrote, old poems, and even a very bad monologue I had to write in french. XD

Le caractère- Anetter.

Vieillir- 13.

Placer- l'Asile Insensé.

Le problème- Est insensé, veut que les gens pour ait cru qu'elle n'est pas.

Regarder- le regard en bataille, fatigué, déprimé et uniforme.

Les valeurs par-dessus tout- Sa conviction qu'elle n'est pas insensé. (Et son Bob d'ami.)

Avant que l'asile- la Mère a trouvé la séance de Anette dans sa pièce se dispute avec le
mur, avec les égratignures descendant l'arme.

La situation- Anette a obtenu a ajouté juste à l'isolement cellulaire à l'Asile insensé après essayer de se sauver. Donne vent et complaing à son ami, Bob. (Qui est un singe invisible de conversation.)



Anetter:

(Les cris aux ouvriers d'asile) je vous déteste ! me part seul ! me permets de va !

part de moi ! Je ne peux pas croire que je suis dans ici, encore !

Ce n'est juste Bob pas, vous savez ?

Parce que je ne vois pas pourquoi que je dois être ici, je ne suis pas insensé ! (Écoute) oh fermer en haut, je ne suis pas insensé..

(Les rhythmes) il doit y avoir une façon pour sortir d'ici, faire les croit we're...(listens)...

Croire que je ne suis pas insensé (écoute, roule des yeux)

Bob, je ne vais pas faire qu'ils veulent, parce que que ces besoin de secousses est pour moi aller à l'orientation, et et juste être un bon petit prisonnier.

(Les arrêts arpentent, les éclats) bien, que je ne ferai pas !

Ceci est l'amérique, je devrais’t doit venir ici juste parce que nous avons un petit combat ! (Écoute, alors les hurlements)

Non ! Je ne vais pas calmer Bob, je devrais’t est ici du, les adultes sont diabolique, ils mettent’t comprend. ..Never fera..

(Les soupirs) Bob, je mets’t sait ce que je’m va faire. ..It’s si dur est ici, nous devons sortir d'ici bientôt, l'I. DE I. ..

I met’t pense que je peux durer beaucoup plus long. Je me sens comme moi vraiment vais insensé parfois..

(Assied sur le lit, les regards en haut soudain aux yeux écarquillés) NON ! (Les gens d'asile entrent) NON ! BOB ! AIDE !

LAISSER ALLER ! Je’M n'ALLANT pas ! NON ! Je’M PAS INSENSE ! Je’M PAS ! ME PERMETTRE DE VA ! ME PERMETTRE DE VA ! ...(is a enfoncé et donné un coup) ..I’m pas insensé. ..I’m pas. ...(Is a exécuté de pièce)

And here is one of the old poems. Please remember this was back in 2004. Hahaha

As the clock chimes.


The clock chimes once.

The clock chimes twice.

Counting down to my demise.



The mourners are mourning,

Their loved ones parting.

As I lay here, slowly dieing.

Listening to the clocks slow chimes.



The clock chimes once.

The clock chimes twice.

As I wait hear.

Worn and weary.

Tired of this endless journey.

Waiting for my final curtain.

To be closed for all of time.


Alas’ the angels blow their horns.

As they slowly open up their doors.

Pulling me higher, higher still.

Watching my body grow distant, faded.

I leave this world.



Alas-

Alas, sweet world, goodbye.


Yeaaaaah...*cough* and here is an interview with a magic 8 ball... O_o

~INTERVIEW WITH A MAGICK 8 BALL~


Me: Hey, do you know my name?


M.B.: I was snoozing. Try again.


Me: Ok....Do you know my name?


M.B.: In life's big picture, it's not that important.


Me: Thats just rude. Do you know how rude you are??


M.B:You're out of it.


Me: I am not out of it. Are you?


M.B: Shuh.


Me: Is that all you can say?


M.B.: Not at this time.


Me: Oh, really?


M.B.: No way.


Me: You're really confusing, you know that?


M.B.: Perhaps.


Me: Okay, time for the interview


M.B.: Possibly.


Me: What do you mean, possibly?!


M.B.: You gotta be kidding.


Me: No, I'm not kidding, are you?


M.B.: You know better than I.


Me: Your a stupid 8 ball


M.B.: You didn't mean that.


Me: Okay, I didn't. But will you please answer my next question?


M.B.: With reasonable assurance, yes.


Me: Thank you.


M.B.: You betcha.


Me:Okay. How old will I be when the world ends?


M.B.: Ix-nay.


Me: what does that mean?


M.B.: Most likely.


Me.: Huh?


M.B.: Nope.


Me: So I wont be alive when the world ends?


M.B.: Well, duh!


Me: Are you always so rude?


M.B.: Not necessarily.


Me: Fine, then could you try being a little nicer?


M.B.: Not at this time.


Me: Bitch


M.B.: You gotta be kidding.


Me: No, your a bitch!


M.B.: Shame on you.


Me: Shame on me?


M.B.: Well, duh!


Me: Hey, all I wanted was an interview with you. Is that too much to ask?


M.B.: Definitely not.


Me: Then why are you being so rude?


M.B.: Even my dog knows that.


Me: Well, I'm not your dog. so why are you being rude?


M.B.: Who can say?


Me: YOU CAN!


M.B.: Have you tried seeking professional help?


Me: Yes, it didn't go so well, why?


M.B.: Surely you jest.


Me: wtf? no I don’t jest, stop talking wierd and answer my damned questions!!


M.B.: Okey dokey.


Me: Fine whatever, now you are going to answer this next question, right?


M.B.: Try flipping a coin.


Me: *flips coin* Okay I did, the coin said you’re going to answer my question.


M.B: With reasonable assurance, yes.


Me: Are people stupid?


M.B.: Absolutely not.


Me: Are people smart?


M.B.: Maybe, maybe not.


Me: okay, are YOU stupid?


M.B.: Do you feel lucky today, punk?


Me: Why yes I do! Do you?


M.B.: Nope.


Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHA, so you dont feel lucky?


M.B.: Not at this time.


Me: Okay, well since you dont feel lucky, I'm gonna come over to your place and break you!


M.B.: Perhaps.


Me: Perhaps? So your saying I can come over and break you??


M.B.: It depends.


Me: It depends on what?


M.B.: Whether pigs can fly


Me: WTF??..Whatever, I’ve gotta get going anyways


M.B. Right on.


Me: Bye.


M.B.: May a Foo Lion growl at you for saying that.


Me: ....o_0... so rude.


M.B.: Absolutely.


Me: Whatever...bye!


M.B.: Try again later.


That's one rude 8 Ball XD




I wonder what other blogs I have hidden out there. (and yes, all spelling is how they were originally on the old blog. I was a seriously bad speller back then. haha)

Friday, July 16, 2010

Battle of the Cupcakes (insert dramatic music)

In the right corner is Cupcake Sisters, in the left DC Cupcakes, and waiting in the wings is Cupcake Wars, Cake Boss and.... Oh, who cares? Ding, ding, ding!

Yeah. There are a lot of dessert shows going on right now. Heck, even NPR wrote an article about the current "cupcake bubble". Apparently cupcake cafes, bakeries, etc. etc. have gone insane, with a large increase in employment and new shops popping up everywhere. I blame TLC for the current cupcake insanity. I mean, seriously, have you seen how many cake shows they currently have on? Sunday I watched them play 5 episodes of Cake Boss in a row, and then proceed to repeat them.

Not that I'm dissing Cake Boss; who can resist an Italian guy that can make kickass cakes? ;)

My mom and I were talking about it, and joking around how we should create our own cupcake shop. Hmm... Considering the high demand of cupcakes now, and the considerable lack of many custom cupcake shops in Louisville, that might be a good idea. Sigh, if only we knew how to bake... x)

Speaking of learning how to bake, though, I found some really cute books on how to make cupcakes. If you would like to learn how to make cupcakes, or spiff up your current cupcake skillz, you should check it out. Even Martha Stewart got on the cupcake wagon. Martha Stewart's Cupcakes: 175 Inspired Ideas for Everyone's Favorite Treat

Sunday, July 4, 2010

....

I hate holidays.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The Last Airbender: Low Expectations Realized

I knew this was going to happen. I knew this movie was going to be a disappointment, but I held on some weird hope that M. Night Shyamalan might not completely ruin this highly awaited film, but, unsurprisingly, I was proven wrong. For one of the first times in my life (aside from the Eragon fiasco), I completely agree with critics, this movie was dull, lifeless, and badly made. It's like, all he did was focus on pretty pictures, and completely forgot about story, depth, or emotion. I mean, even the so called "action" scenes were pathetic! And the acting... Oh the acting... Somehow, I think the movie would have remained exactly the same if they had just cast sock puppets instead =.= what the hell was he thinking?? Oh wait, he probably wasn't thinking. Mr.Shyamallamadingdong should just go back to producing shit like the 6th Sense and leave real movies to the professionals.

For all of you who haven't watched the cartoon series, you definitely should. It's actually good.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Chillin' at the Holiday Inn

Just got home from spending the night at the hotel. No real reason to go, it's just one of those things me and my mom have done since I was a little kid and we needed to get away from life. When life throws us lemons, we take a mini vacay! haha.  It was nice though, we stayed at the Holiday Inn. Usually we stay in Comfort Suite (if we're up in Georgetown) or Embassy Suites (my favorite).

I downloaded the game Neopets Petpet Adventures: The Wand of Wishing hahaha it's soooooo cute. My mom just looked at me like I'm a freak, but I can't help it, I've been playing Neopets for years and me being 19 isn't going to stop that! =] It's actually pretty cool, they did a good job making it.

I'm also reading this book called Rock Paper Tiger by Lisa Brackmann, I'll post a review of it once I've finished. It was good up until the middle, but now it's just... meh. Who knows, maybe it will get better.

Finally, I found this awesome blog called Steamy Kitchen  which includes lots of different recipes. I'm addicted to cooking right now for some reason, and I really want to try to make lots of different things. I'll post up my cooking misadventures here, I think. Hopefully I don't destroy the kitchen too badly ;)

P.S. my first ever google adsense check arrived!! I'm so happy!
☆~♪~〇(^▼^)〇 ~♪~☆

Thursday, June 24, 2010

My first purse + new bike!

I finally finished making my first purse, I'm so happy! It's not the best in the world, but for a first attempt and basically no knowledge of sewing I'm happy with it :D

I got most of the fabric from hobby lobby, picking from things I like the most, travel, cupcakes, funky stuff like the skulls, etc. I made the closing strawberry with felt and sewed velcro onto the purse and the strawberry. On the back I made some felt cherries and glued them onto it. I couldn't figure out what to do for the handles, but my mom brought home some pretty green rope from her work so I used that.

I apologize for the blurriness, used my webcam to take these pictures. I so want a new camera =.=

In other news, I'm going to get a bike!! I haven't rode a bike in yeaaaars, I'm excited and the bike is gorgeous! It's totally retro, my mom said she had a bike that looked like that when she was a kid. This one has a pink and black design. I love it! We're going to put it in layaway at kmart and I'll take pictures of it once I get it. It's a "Schwinn Windwood 26 Inch Women's Bike."

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Frustration and Movies

I am SO frustrated right now. For my websites, I have to write some "master" articles for some 3wl sh*t owned by this crazy uber christian john leger or whatever. It's a ridiculous site, but apparently it will put my sites onto the top rank in google, soooooooooo. Blah. I am not a person who can write bs easily about a topic I have no real interest in. You would think writing 250 words would be easy, no? Wrong. Cute summer dresses. 3 paragraphs, each with 3 sentences, equaling 250 words. Then you have to go and write TWO MORE ARTICLES that are a variation on the same freaking thing. It took forever to think of crud to write for the first one, and I have no idea what to say for the other two stupid articles! It's pissing me off. I guess I'm taking these articles too seriously, but I can't help it, I hate, hate, hate writing bad things! It goes against my grain to write tripe. I guess I just need to get used to writing spam. Sigh, somehow I feel that I wouldn't do well writing for a newspaper. Haha.

Anyhoo, who is excited for "The Last Airbender" and "Eat, Pray, Love"? Me! I've been watching the anime for "The Last Airbender" and I cannot wait to see the movie! Although I'm a little concerned about the cast choice. Especially the actor who plays Zuko, Sakka and Iroh. =s I'm also not loving Katara's hairstyle, I wish they'd kept it closer to the original! I absolutely am dying to see "Eat, Pray, Love." The book was amazing and I'm hoping the movie will be just as good. Anyone who hasn't read that book yet should go read it immediately! They even have a Spanish version on amazon.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Obento & Happiness

Just discovered a super cute bento blog e-obento. I'm crazy about bento, even though I don't get many chances to make it, and I love looking at all the blogs there are for it! I really wish to learn to cook better, and I hope this summer I can try to learn more. Cooking is very fun, especially when you can make it into cute charas!

I would like to try something like that Julie did from Julie & Julia, where she made a new recipe every night. I guess I just need to learn how to commit to things... I'm not sure why I have such a problem with it. I need to become more serious, or I'll always be stuck in "I would like to.." and "I wish I could.." and I hate that.

I recently acquired a book called "The Daring Female's Guide to Ecstatic Living" and one of the dares is to do something for at least 10 minutes a day that makes you ecstatic. I really don't do any of the things I love to do, I just wish about doing them.

So, from now I'll start daring to do the things I love to do, without making excuses, even if I have no real need for it. Like making a bento, or singing, cooking, sewing, exercising. We should all do what makes us happy, right?

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Fukuhara Miho - Himawari

Fukuhara Miho is amazing! I love the sound of her voice, and the stories and messages in her songs are always beautiful and well made. This song even made me cry (although I blame PMS mostly.)

I guess it's something many of us can relate to, right? Losing a person you cared for dearly, whether it be a best friend, a family member, a lover, you never forget that person no matter what happens. It's like there will always be a little hole in your life, and though you keep moving on, growing older, having new friends, new loves, you always yearn for that person who made you so happy.

「君がいなくても地球は回る。。。」

"The earth still turns, even if you're not here..." It doesn't feel like it should sometimes, though... But, I guess that's life, huh? You just have to keep moving forward, and keep all that's lost alive in your memories.

If you want to buy Miho's biggest hit CD "Rainbow", which includes songs like "Himawari", "Change", and "Love: Winter Song" you can buy it on Amazon for about 16 dollars, a great deal!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Perspective

I picked up an old edition of National Geographic over the weekend, August 1997 to be exact, and I noticed an article about coral reefs entitled "A New Light in the Sea." It states on the opening picture:

"At twilight in the Red Sea I photographed corals with an electronic flash. They look mundane and dull (below). Then at night my diving partner David Fridman plays a powerful ultraviolet light over the same corals, and they explode with unimaginable color."

Mundane and dull?? Who in their right mind could consider the bottom picture mundane or dull? Although fluorescence in coral is intriguing and pretty, I personally think as far as artistic appreciation goes the bottom picture is far more beautiful than the ultraviolet version above.

This photographer obviously is lacking in any true artistic talent. The original coral, with it's subtle oranges, greens, browns, and reds, is truly gorgeous in my opinion; the shapes, textures, and colors are so vivid and blend so well together, you could stare at it for hours and still keeping finding new surprising details. I wish I had a better camera to do the image the justice it deserves. Ok rant over, haha.

I guess it just goes to show everyone views things different when it comes to beauty. Everyone has their own tastes and opinions, and everything is beautiful in it's own unique way. Whether it's the flamboyant beauty of the peacock or the subtle charm of a coral bed, we should learn to appreciate all things nature has to offer, instead of casting something off as "mundane" or "dull". Because, in this world, there is nothing dull.

Note to self: buy a new camera!!